


Things to Remember Me By

by Lidsworth



Category: Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: Amnesia, M/M, New Years, One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-01
Updated: 2015-01-01
Packaged: 2018-03-04 17:38:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,873
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3076391
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lidsworth/pseuds/Lidsworth
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When they were little, Hide and Kaneki wrote a list of things about each other, so just in case they lost the other, they would remember them by the list. </p><p>Years later, Haise finds a piece of crumbled paper labeled “Hide” in one of his books.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Things to Remember Me By

**Author's Note:**

> Beta'd by me as always!  
> Disclaimer: I don't own Tokyo Ghoul!

It began as a simple exercise to cheer Kaneki up when he was sulking that evening. New Year's Eve brought with it joy and resolution for most, though it somehow managed to pull Kaneki into some sort of depression that even Hide had trouble pulling him out of.

 

Hide's parents had allowed him to go to the park that evening, as he'd opted out of celebrating it with his family after he'd gotten a call from Kaneki's aunt saying that Kaneki had left. He left often, though Hide couldn't blame him. His aunt was abusive and neglectful. Who would want to spend New Year's Eve with that witch?

 

But that was beside the point.

 

This was New Year's Eve. Alcohol was half-priced, and more people were half-brained. He could see some idiot's New Year's Resolution suddenly being to take advantage of some poor, emotionally unstable kid. Kaneki was already messed up, he didn't need anyone else giving him a reason to kill himself.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Hide found him on the same hill that they usually frequented. The grassy green one (though as of now, it had turned a murky shade of straw yellow) had become their sort of sanctuary (or Kaneki's sanctuary, though home was the more accurate term, because Hide felt at home wherever Kaneki felt at peace).

 

He could see Kaneki sitting with his legs tucked under his chin, and his arms wrapped around himself tightly, as if to loosen himself any would result in his already broken body falling to pieces.

 

Hide sighed, and with his hands in his pocket, walked up the incline“You really do know how to make an exit, huh Kaneki?”

Kaneki made no indication that he heard Hide, only looked at the darkening horizon, and the long shadows that stretched over the park and it's shades of brown and yellow. Hide took a seat beside him, looking at his friend's pale features, and taking in the red rims underneath his eyes.

 

“Hey,” Hide gently punched Kaneki in the arm, “What's up?”  
  
It may have seemed like an stupid question, given the fact that Hide knew everything that was “up” at the moment. Though Kaneki wasn't one who liked to be berated with concerns and questions, especially not now. He knew how messed up his situation was at the moment. He didn't feel like hearing it thrown in his face all over again.

 

He just wanted to tell his side.

 

The black haired boy breathed out a shaky breath, and closed his eyes slowly. A single tear escaped the boy's eye, and rolled down his cheek.

 

“I-i was looking at pictures of my mom again,” he sniffled a bit, and wiped his eye with a gloved hand, “and my aunt saw. She got mad at me, and started trying to throw it away. We got in a fight because she wouldn't stop pulling at it,” Kaneki hiccuped, and his olive eyes opened slowly, “it ripped...it's just trash now.”

 

Hide could say a lot about Kaneki's aunt, _a lot._ He hated her more than anything in the world. He hated her even more than Kaneki hated her (because he was still too afraid to call the police on her, she was the only family he had left), and that was saying a lot.

 

“That's tough...do you still have the picture, at least?” Hide tried to contain his rage by hiding it under seemingly monotonic, concerned words, but the anger was buzzing out. Kaneki could tell.

 

The boy sniffled, and took the pieces out of his hoodie pocket. It was the picture of his mother that he had in his room, the only thing he had left of her.

 

“I just don’t' want to forget her,” Kaneki sniffled, trying his best to piece the picture back together, “I try to remember things about her all the time, but I'm always forgetting...and this picture...”

 

That's when the light bulb in Hide's head clicked on, “Hey, can I see that?”

 

“Might as well, it's trash anyway,” Kaneki said, rather drained.

Hide smiled, “Mind if I tear a piece of it off then?”  
  
“Hide!” Kaneki practically jumped on his friend, “I just told you-”  
“No! Trust me on this Kaneki!' Hide's smirk grew ten times wider, “I know what I’m doing.”  
  
Kaneki knew that Hide would never do anything to intentionally hurt him, but this seemed outlandish, and against everything Kaneki had said moments ago...but Hide was his friend...he knew what he was doing.

 

Kaneki didn't have to say anything to give Hide the authority to tear the tattered image of his late mother. After one look at Kaneki's submissive gaze, the picture was torn again, giving a total of three pieces.

 

Before Kaneki could dwell on the torn image, Hide spoke.

  
“Okay, now here's what were gonna do, hold this,” Hide forced a torn piece into Kaneki's hand, and rummaged through his own hoodie pocket for something to write with. After a while of looking, Hide managed to produce a black pen from his jacket.

 

Kaneki raised an eyebrow.

 

“What? I'm always writing down music, but that's not the point. The point _is,”_ he gave Kaneki the pen, “Take it. You're going to write things about your mom, that way you won't forget her.”

 

Kaneki blinked. Truly, Hide never seized to amaze him.

 

“H-Hide,” Thank you didn't seem like enough to express his gratitude towards his friend.

 

The blond just smiled, “I already know man, don't mention it. Oh, and I have one too, so I can write things about you, and when you're done writing about your mom, you write about me. That way if something happens to me, you'll always have something to remember me by! You can even make it a book mark!”  
  
“Hide! Don't say those things!” He was very sensitive to death at the moment, and the thought of losing Hide made his eyes water all over again, “I don't know what I’d do without you.”  
  
“Well for now, let's just write,” Hide began, removing another pen from his jacket, and tapping it on his bottom lip, “Kaneki...kaneki...what do I think of when I see you? Oh! Books! That's right, and oh! Sweaters, and socialky awkward-”  
  
“I”m not socially awkward!” Defended the book worm.

 

Hide giggled, “Just kidding! Hey, what do you have for your mom...if you don't want to tell me, it's oka-”  
  
“No, it's alright!” Kaneki stammered, “It's nothing anyway. I just wrote down hard working, caring, selfless, that kind of stuff...but I want to start yours know.

 

“Cool, what's first?”  
  
“Well, you're really energetic,” Kaneki admitted, feeling comfortable enough to continue “and you're like the sun almost....because you're always so happy. You're really helpful and dedicated, and your hard working too. And even caring...and selfless, especially since you came to find me on New Year—Hide! I'm so sorry! You had to leave you family...”  
  
Hide put his hands up, “Hey, don't worry about it. And also, are you sure you're not reading you're mom's list? It just sounded the same.”  
  


Kaneki looked at both list again, and held them side by side. He tilted his head, “I guess you and mom had a lot in common...but you have some differences.” Kaneki didn't care to explain.  
  
Hide shrugged, “Cool I guess...hey, should I put “likes dark colors, hates happy things?”  
Kaneki found himself chucking, “sure, whatever makes you happy.”  
  
They called out things about each other all throughout the evening, and attributed them to each others names. However, their enthusiasm soon died out with the clashing of colorful fireworks against one another in the clouds. Both boys looked up to the sky in utter amazement as the loud explosions echoed in the air.

 

“Hey, Kaneki,” Hide said, midday through the elaborate show.

“Hmm?” Kaneki asked, never taking his eyes off of the sky.

 

“Happy New Year.”  
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

 

Haise just wanted to finish the last few pages of his book, before he joined everyone else that evening for festivities of any sort. The book was so captivating, yet so tragic at the same time. As dorky as it seemed, he didn't mind opening his New Year with the end of a great tale.

 

Though three pages from the end, he was disturbed, as two pieces of paper seemed to slither out of the pages from no where. After folding the page of his book, and placing it on the ground, he grabbed the two pieces and looked at them.

 

They seemed to be torn from something, or the result of something torn, like a photo. Though from the state and the quality of the image itself, Haise couldn't tell who it was. On the back side, where the paper was white, were words scribbled down in a list, almost like a shopping list

 

“Mom...” he read one aloud, tilting his head in confusion, “hard working, caring, selfless, glasses, dark hair, funny, intelligent,” Haise smiled as he read, obviously this person really loved their mother, or so he thought. He continued to read, “Selfish, neglectful, liar...left me with my aunt, witch..venting..I’m just venting...”  
  
Feeling as if he'd just stumbled onto a part of someone's life he had no business peeking into, he placed that slip down, though slowly picked up the other. He was a little scared of what he was going to read, but read nevertheless.

 

“Hide, he's like the sun (because he's always so happy). Helpful and dedicated. Hard working too. Caring and selfless. Sunshine. He smells like outdoors (I like outdoors). Summer and spring. Sweet foods. Music (but American music, he doesn't like Japanese too much). Orange ( like someone threw up orange). Blond. Home. Love. Best friend. Savior (he saved me from suicide, doesn't even know It). Best friend. Hide.”  
  
Haise tilted his head even further this time, as he stood up from the floor at full height. This Hide person...Haise felt as if he knew him even without knowing him. Like he was a character in one of his books.

 

He seemed too perfect to be real, so Haise supposed he must've been fictional, some sort of note that the previous owner of the book must've left in between the pages..but God...he felt his heart fluttering in his chest as he reread Hide's list, and for the strangest reasons, felt tears pricking in his eyes.

 

“Saasan! Come on, it's about to be New Year! Stop being so anti-social!” Shouted the Quinx squad member, from the other side of the door, “We're all waiting, even Arima-san and Akira-san are!”

 

Haise blinked, wiping a stray tear off of his cheek, “Coming!”

 

As he opened the door to his room, and prepared to step into the hallway, thus stepping into a New Year, Hide's list burned in his head. He had tucked it back In the book, though its effect didn't wane any. He knew Hide wasn't real (he was too perfect to be real), but that didn't mean Haise couldn't find someone _like_ Hide. Perhaps that's what he'd spend his New Year doing. With a smirk, he walked into the kitchen.

 

 _Happy New Year, Hide,_ he thought to himself, _wherever you may be._

**Author's Note:**

> So this is really just a friendship fic, but you can take it either way you want. 
> 
> Based off of something my mother, sister and I were doing in the car a little while ago. We would say a person's name in our family, and say tings that we'd remember them by. Like my mother's was traveling, and teaching, granpas was black coffee, root beer and candy, grandmas was Church, choir, plants and clothing, step dads cologne, phones, etc., so I wanted to do something similar for these two, because I mean come on, it's relevant. 
> 
> Happy New Year to all of you, every single one! I hope you enjoyed this oneshot, I really do. Why don't you guys try it? Make a list, start with the name on the top, and jus tstart jotting things down. As for his mother, i'm sure Kaneki's had some anger directed towards her, and being he was venting, he let his worse feelings seep out of him. 
> 
> How are you spending the New Year? What are your resolutions? Are you hyped up for the TG Re chapter? In ch. 13, they're going to be dressing up as girls (who's ready to see that?) anyway, have a wonderful year, a wonderful week, and God bless!


End file.
